


I Am [Once Again] Slowly Fading

by santohyung



Category: bts
Genre: Character Death, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Happy Ending, I also invented some characters so, It's not Jiminie don't worry, Jimin is love sick, M/M, No Smut, Okay that's it, Read at your own cost, Red Velvet, Wendy - Freeform, Yoongi is love sick, angsty, jimin has an eating disorder, seulgi - Freeform, sorry - Freeform, triggering, yoongi is soft, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-31 17:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15124388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/santohyung/pseuds/santohyung
Summary: "It really doesn't work... If you tell them to just eat, I mean. It just doesn't.""It doesn't really help either to ask how or when it started. I don't remember, okay? I just don't"Having an eating disorder has never been easy. Jimin struggles with it, living in a shelter with a bunch of other kids that do so as well. In his eyes he personally has no future, but who knew fainting inside a supermarket would change it all?





	I Am [Once Again] Slowly Fading

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone ! This is my first YoonMIn fic and I'm really excited so I hope you all like it. Just a few warnings thoug, 1) my first language is not english but I tried my hardest. Second of all, trigger warning to anyone who has suffered form an eating disorder.
> 
> All of Jimin's episodes are my episodes. (of course except i'm not in a shelter or i'm dating yoongi, i also have not been tubed...) This fic is written by my actual real life episodes so please, PLEASE nobody go commenting about how this is a "stereotype" because it really isn't.

"It really doesn't work…

If you tell them to just eat, I mean.

It just doesn't."

And,

"It doesn't really help either to ask how or when it started.

I don't remember, okay? I just don't"

Jimin finally looks up and roams his eyes around the room. The therapist and other colleagues are staring at him. He shrugs and waits for them to answer.

"And how does that make you feel?" Seokjin asks.

"Well, annoyed, I guess." Jimin shrugs. "Annoyed that they just don't get it... I don't know how I got here or why. Why can't they just sit down and listen? What if I don't want to get in the pool, huh? Do I have to explain myself? Do I have to explain how I hate my body and I just want to scratch it off? Why can't they just not make me feel worse— " Jimin takes a deep breath and stops.

"It's alright, take your time." Dr. Seokjin says, smiling warmly at the eighteen year old boy.

But he stays quiet. He has no idea on what to say anymore because that's all he can think of. There's nothing more in his mind and he knows nobody else in the meeting wants to speak up either.

So the meeting ends ten minutes later when Seokjin finishes his usual "Be Positive" speech, which he is pretty sure he memorized already.

The shitty thing, now that the meeting is over, is that they must go back to the rehab house, and eat dinner. So, Jimin drags his converse on the white flooring, no emotion present on his face.

He ends up sitting on the van beside one of his colleagues, Wendy, who suffers from Bulimia Nervosa. She chats with Seulgi, another of the girls, the whole way back to rehab.

Once in the house, the eight residents go in, greeting their keeper, Nadia. 

"Dinner will be served in five minutes, go change, get comfortable..." Nadia waves them off with a smile.

Jimin is the last one to run upstairs. He just watches all the others hurry up, as if their life depended on it.

Which in a way, it does.

Jimin knows every single one of them; all of them. He also knows the house perfectly; three main bedrooms (Nadia's, the girls, the boys), three bathrooms (one personally for Nadia, one downstairs, and the other is in the hallway and is for them), a kitchen, a dining area, a living room, a garden... The basics. It's just a normal house.

He knows his three roomates: Jihun, Minseok, and his personal favorite, Baekhyun. Don't get him wrong, he loves the others, but Baekhyun always cheers him up.

There used to be this other boy... Hoseok, but he left already since he didn't need the treatment anymore. He was Jimin's best friend, but now he could barely go out of the house since he didn't have enough points to do so.

Anyway, the girls room also has four members in it. Wendy, Seulgi, Areum, and Bada. They're all nice girls. Bada is currently tubed, Areum is a binge eater, Wendy is a stick, and Seulgi is actually trying to get better.

The boys, on the other hand, are kind of the same story. Minseok used to be a binge eater but now he just refuses to eat anything that isn't vegetables. Jihun is close to reaching his weight goal, but behind the doors he's always smoking to fill up his stomach.

Now, the reason why Jimin says he's closer to Baekhyun is because they're kind of going through the "same" thing. Baekhyun suffers from Anorexia Nervosa and is probably very close to getting tubed. He eats under 500 calories and whenever he's done he does 200 or more sit ups. 

Jimin is exactly the same.

He has been tubed two times, and he's really scared of getting tubed again, but that doesn't stop him from doing the exercise or starving himself. Jimin's life consisted of him only having half a 75 calorie yogurt for breakfast and then not eating anything else for the rest of the day. For dinner he would prepare his oatmeal to make it seem he was actually going to eat but then he would throw it down the toilet, and if he did eat it then he would just throw it out seconds after. After doing so, he would drink tons of warm water to make up for the missed meals and then drink two laxatives that would help him lose weight even faster.

That was the routine.

As Jimin enters his bedroom, he lets himself fall on the bed, letting out a long and tired sigh. "What's gotten you so tired, Jiminie?" Baekhyun asks with a joking tone. "Just kidding, I know what it is."

Jimin chuckles softly. "Guess it's time for dinner, huh?" Minseok hums and Jihun shrugs. "Why can't we just sleep. I'm tired from that session." 

"We—"

There's a knock on the wall, since there are no doors in any room. Just Nadia's and the bathroom (which is locked for an hour after dinner).

"Dinner's ready."

It's Wendy, wearing a huge sweater and baggy pants that probably don't fit her. Minseok and Jihun go down the stairs with the girls while Baekhyun waits for Jimin.

"Hey Hyung," Baekhyun turns around to look at the dongsaeng. "How do you think those pants fit her?"

"I saw Nadia bought her braces for them to not fall. She wears them under the sweater so no one can see." 

"Oh."

Dinner, like always, starts with praying for health and then serving yourself what you want. Today there's spaghetti, and you can basically see the butter. "I don't want it." Minseok murmurs. "I'm not eating it." He covers his face.

This are the rules, you have 45 minutes to eat what's served or you just don't eat anything. If you eat, you get liberty points, and if you don't you get strikes. The one with the most, until now, is Baekhyun. He has to clean the kitchen every night because of those strikes.

"Eat it, Min, you don't want them to strike you, do you?" Areum questions him, taking a spoon full of spaghetti.

"Where's Seulgi, anyway?" Jihun asks. "And Bada? Where did she go?" 

"She's tubed, remember?" Wendy comments, covering her nose while eating some spaghetti. "And Seulgi had enough points so she went out with her friends." 

"I want to go to the market." Jimin speaks up, gaining everyone's attention. "I heard they now have– um, rice cakes. In uh– boxes now. They're like small desserts." 

"How many points do you have?" Baekhyun asks him.

"Three. I'm missing two."

"Well then, my boy, eat up!" Baekhyun takes a bunch of spaghetti and lets it fall on Jimin's plate.

Jimin stares at it with wide eyes. He can feel everyone around him staring.

"If I eat this, then so do you." Jimin suddenly speaks up and does the same to Baekhyun. "Eat up." 

"If you both eat all of that I'll be incredibly proud." Nadia comments.

Jimin decides it's time to make someone proud, so he eats it, all of it. Who cares if after doing so he works out twice as hard? At least he ate it and Nadia saw, so he has now two points.

"Baek," Jimin whispers. "Pssst, hyung!" He whispers again.

"What?" Baekhyun turns his body to look at Jimin's bed.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"When have I ever said no?" Baekhyun chuckles lowly. Jimin smiled and quietly went over to Baekhyun's bed. He snuggled into the blankets and turned his body to him. "Are you really going to try to earn those points? I think it's really brave of you."

"I'm trying to eat...more." Jimin sighs. "Why is it so hard, hyung? I want to be like everyone else. I want to be able to go to McDonalds and get myself a big hamburger with fries. I want to be able to then go get ice cream."

"Me too, Chim, me too." Baekhyun sighed as well. He then smiled reassuringly at the younger one and patted his cheek softly. "I'll do it with you, okay?"

"Seriously?" Jimin's eyes light up. "You're really brave as well, hyung."

"Thank you, Jiminie. Now, go to sleep." Baekhyun poked his nose. "We need it."

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

It was kind of hard, eating and all. But! They're doing quite fine, even if afterwards they do some... exercise. For example, today they ate four pancakes! It earned two points. Jimin was so close to his fifth one.

The thing is, Nadia caught them exercising in the backyard so she took away one point from each and they were sent to their room.

It was now night time again and the two friends laid together, but this time on Jimin's bed. They started talking about past events that happened to them.

"My mum took us to this trip, and when we were in Miami I ate too much. Like, I ate some bread with milk for breakfast, barely the whole bread but still. Then I ate a burrito the airplane gave you, but I didn't finish it and I would just bite it and then spit it out on a napkin. When we reached the airport I bought this candy— Reese's. Bought two packages, each 210 calories, can you imagine?"

Jimin started laughing quietly and Baekhyun joined him. "You pig!" Baekhyun whispered yelled at him, pushing him lightly, causing Jimin to giggle even more.

"But yeah, and I went to the public bathroom to try to throw up because I had also ate two pieces of bread with chicken. You can only imagine how weird I felt."

"And did you?"

"I wasn't able to throw up because someone else entered the bathroom just when I had started gagging. Besides, purging has always been hard for me, you know that."

"I find it yucky. It's not my cup of tea." Baekhyun told him and Jimin shrugged. "I was once on an airplane and tried to purge but the plane started fucking moving. It was insane."

Jimin started laughing even louder, earning a shush from one of their roomates. They completely ignored it and continued telling stories. Suddenly, they started to quiet down. Jimin's smile fell off his face as he looked off into distance. Baekhyun raised an eyebrow and asked what was wrong.

"It's just..." Sigh. "Do you ever wonder what would be of you if you stepped out of this prison?"

"I know what would be of me if I stepped out of this prison." Baekhyun sighs and lays down on his back. "I'd be a singer, I bet. I would have everything done; Everything I ever wanted." 

"I don't know what would be of me." Jimin sighs. "I'm gonna die lonely." Jimin started giggling but Baekhyun hit him lightly.

"No you won't. I bet your soulmate is waiting for you right now." Baekhyun winked, making Jimin snort loudly. "No, seriously, Jimin. You'll get out of here and become a great man. You'll find the one for you and become what you ever wanted. You'll become the best dancer ever."

Jimin had tears in the corner of his eyes. He nodded and snuggled closer to his best friend, hugging him close.

"Thank you, hyung."

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Jimin finally got five points.

It was two in the afternoon and he was preparing himself to leave. He was ready to jog until the store to burn those 236 calories he had just ate.

So, after throwing on a huge jumper, some leggings and some converse, he finally walked out of the room. Before leaving though, he told Nadia and then made his was to Baekhyun.

"Hyung, anything you'd like from the store?"

Baekhyun looked up from the dishes he was washing. He shook his head and looked back at the dishes. Jimin stood there for a few more seconds.

"Actually," Ah, there it is. "Mind getting me a book? Any book is fine." Jimin smiled sweetly and nodded. "Have fun, Chim."

Jimin thanked him and left with no other word. He took out the small map he made yesterday and made his way to the farthest shop possible.

He walked for hours. It was four o'clock by the time he reached the store. Sweat was falling from his face. As he pushed the glassed door open, he felt the air conditioner hit his face. He smiled to himself and walked over to get his rice cake.

After choosing the one that looked the best, he made his way to the book rack. He scanned each of the books until he finally caught one that Baekhyun might like. Sadly, it was until the top and he couldn't reach.

Jimin stood on his tiptoes, extending his arm the best he could. He fell back down and tried once more but suddenly— the room was spinning around him. He felt like he was going in circles.

The last thing he remembers is everything going dark.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

"Kid? Hey, kid. Are you okay?"

A soothing voice is what Jimin wakes up to. He blinks a few times to adjust to the lighting. He focuses on the face above him. A beautiful and handsome face, to be exact.

"Oh, good. You're awake." The beautiful man smiles. Woah. "Here, let me help you up." Jimin's small hand wraps around the man's larger one. He has skinny hands. Skinny and long fingers. 

"W-What happen?" Jimin asks with confusion.

"Well, I was returning a customer's money when suddenly you passed out while trying to reach this book," The man hands him a book, oh. "Are you feeling any better? Want some water? I can get you some." Jimin nodded. "You need some food, kid–"

"NO!" Jimin yells. "No, no, no! And uh, this rice cake, don't want it anymore." Jimin smiles politely and hands it over. He's sure that cake is now completely destroyed.

"You look like you need some food–"

"I'm alright, but thanks..."

"Yoongi. Min Yoongi. Jimin smiled at him, a blush covering his cheeks at the way Yoongi was looking at him. His eyes looking deep into his own. "And you are?"

"Oh! Um, I'm Jimin." Jimin shrugged, moving a bit of hair out of his face. "Park Jimin."

"Well, Park Jimin, are you free today? My shift is almost over and you seem like someone who'd be fun to hang out with." Yoongi winks at him and Jimin almost chokes. "So what do you say?"

Jimin checks for the time, barely 4:50 so yeah, he has time. He then nods, causing a smile to break out on Yoongi's face. 

"Alright, just let me finish, yeah? Ten more minutes and then the other guy will come through."

Jimin smiles with a nod, and after buying Baekhyun's book, he starts to look around the store. He can't believe he just got asked out by a complete stranger, a very handsome and kind stranger. Maybe he won't regret this hangout, maybe he is supposed to go on this hangout. This kind of thoughts continued for a the whole ten minutes until,

"Yoh, Jiminie!" Jimin turns around. "My partner, Taehyung, is here so... Shall we?" Yoongi asks while holding the door open. Jimin nods and walks over to him.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

He can't remember the last time he laughed like this. This loud and real. Yoongi is telling him about a time that someone tried to steal all the chocolate rack on the store by throwing all chocolates inside their shirt.

Jimin learns about Yoongi's best friends, Jeongguk and Taehyung, who have been dating for two years now and that makes Jimin question if he'll ever date someone for that long. He also learns that Yoongi is way older than him (well not as much but Yoongi still feels like an old man beside Jimin.

"So, tell me about you, Jiminie." Yoongi knocks his shoulder with Jimin's. The younger boy blushes a bit and decides on what to tell the older one.

"Well, I'm eighteen..." He starts. "My best friend's name is Baekhyun. I have another friend, Hoseok, but I call him–"

"Hobi?"

Jimin's head snaps towards Yoongi. "H-How did you–?" Jimin stares with confusion at the older boy. It's impossible right? That the world is so small? Right?

"Jung Hoseok? Yeah, he goes to my class at Uni. We both study music." He shrugs as if nothing. A smile breaks through his face. Hobi is doing okay. He got into the school he wanted and is studying what he wanted. Getting better is an option.

"I haven't talked to him in a while." Jimin decides to confess. "But I still count him as a friend; A very close one." 

Yoongi smiles and takes a hold of Jimin's shoulder. "I bet he still counts you as a close one too." Jimin smiles thankfully at him. "Say, do you want some ice cream?" 

Without thinking twice, Jimin nods.

Jimin doesn't notice when he orders his ice cream. He doesn't notice when he eats it all, including the cone. He doesn't notice when Yoongi tells him he looks like he needs some food because he's way too skinny; Just brushes it off. He doesn't notice that they have walked for a long time until his watch beeps, announcing its 19:00. 

"Oh my god," Jimin gasps, turning to look at Yoongi. "I have to go. Nadi– I mean, my mum told me to be home by eight." He lies carefully.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" The hyung asks. Jimin shakes his head quickly with a forced smile.

"No need to worry. I'll be off now."

"Alright..." Yoongi sighs. "It was lovely meeting you, Park Jimin. You think there is a possibility I can get your number?"  


"I don't have a phone so... no." Jimin giggles and Yoongi snaps his fingers while saying "oh man!"  
"See you soon then?" Yoongi smiles charmingly and Jimin nods. "How soon?"

 

"Tomorrow?"

 

"Tomorrow it is!" Yoongi cheers. "I'll see you tomorrow then, beautiful." He hugs Jimin goodbye. Jimin's face is red, all because of a pet name and a hug.

 

Maybe this hangout was supposed to happen.

 

When Jimin sees Yoongi walking away, he feels as if a brick hits him on the face. He ate a complete chocolate ice cream with sprinkles. So, he starts running the fastest he can until he reaches the shelter house, sweat running down his face, but he can't help the smile he feels when it also hits him he spend the whole afternoon with a very cute and sweet boy, and he can't wait to see him again tomorrow.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。 

The next day, Yoongi and Jimin head to the park and fed the ducks. Jimin had the time of his life, laughing at everything Yoongi said, and even ate his salad with no complain. Well, he left a bit of it because the plate was too big, but Yoongi didn't ask a thing.

They laid down and described cloud shapes and Jimin would laugh at Yoongi's inappropriate jokes.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

The day after that, Yoongi invited Jimin to the theater. They watched the most random film, to which they laughed the whole way. Yoongi would throw popcorn at Jimin to make him eat some because "it wasn't fair he was eating all of it alone". Jimin would deny and throw some back. Or, when Yoongi begged him to eat some, Jimin would put them inside his mouth and when Yoongi looked away he would spit them out.

By the end of the film, Jimin felt Yoongi's hand softly touch his but before he could even react it was gone. Jimin felt a bit disappointed but decided to not say anything about it.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

The third day they went out together, Jimin gained two pounds and he was kind of freaking out but if it hadn't been for that he wouldn't be hanging out with Yoongi and he really wanted to.

Today, Yoongi showed him around his dorm. Jimin was allowed to listen to some of his music and even watched him play the piano. It was really lovely. The best part was when Yoongi told him he had a surprise for him and opened up the door, revealing Hoseok.

"Oh my god, Hobi hyung!" Jimin gasped.

"Jimin!" The other one smiled widely, wrapping him in a tight hug. Jimin hugged him back just as tight, and Yoongi decided to let them have their alone time. "I see you became friends with Suga hyung."

"Suga?"

"That's how we call him here. Weird, I know." Hoseok rolled his eyes fontly. "How did you two meet?"

"Where he works, at the store." 

"That's amazing! It's good to know you're out of that shit whole of a shelter." Hoseok patted him on the shoulder, but when he saw Jimin frown, he did as well. "Don't tell me you're still..." Jimin nodded. "Oh Jimin-ah... Why? Just eat more, I was able to do it–"

"I'm getting better!" Jimin whispered in defense. "I am! How do you think I'm here? Gained a few pounds so Nadia lets me out. I've been meeting with Yoongi for almost a week now." 

Hoseok sighs, looking around and then moving closer. "Does Yoongi hyung know?" Jimin shakes his head in denial. "He's going to find out sooner or later –"

"But not today." Jimin quickly cut him off. "Please, please don't tell him." Jimin whined and begged. "I beg you, I'll tell him soon!" 

"Okay, okay. It's not my business anyway." Hobi then smiled widely. "It was great seeing you again, Chim Chim." 

"You too."

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

The next time they hung out, they walked through the streets together and even held hands

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Few days later they hung out again and Yoongi wrapped his arm around Jimin, holding him quite close.

Jimin didn't seem to mind at all.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Today Jimin was brave enough to kiss Yoongi on the cheek. He was able to start the hand holding as well. He even caused Yoongi to get shy and blushy.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

It's been over a week and they cuddle under the tree near the duck pond. Yoongi whispers sweet nothings to his ear and nuzzles his nose on Jimin's cheek, also pecking it.

.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

A few days later, Jimin had lost those pounds he had gained but had bought some mini weights that he would hide inside his joggers for when he had to get weighed by Nadia.

So, in Nadia's eyes, he gained five pounds, and she told him to maintain his weight there. So, he was let out of the house again with absolutely no problem.

Yoongi and him met up at the park, it has become a normal routine for them. The thing is, today was quite chilly so Jimin had to wear a lot of layers, and that wasn't even enough. He's wearing a tight shirt underneath a long sleeved one, and on top of that a jumper. For bottoms it was jeans, some warm socks, and his sneakers.

Jimin waved at Yoongi once he spotted him by the pond. As soon as Jimin walked over, Yoongi pulled him into a hug. Jimin blushed and hid his face on his neck, hugging back.

"How are you today, Yoongi hyung?"

"A bit tired but now I'm better. What about you?" Jimin shrugs. He kind of wants to say "Now im better too because I'm here with you" but that's a bit cheesy so he decides to keep it to himself. "You look tired."

"Gee, thanks."

"I never said you looked bad!" Yoongi chuckles. "You just seem... tired. You have bags under your eyes, Jiminie. Are you okay?" Yoongi's hands are suddenly on his cheeks, eyes looking deep into his own.

Jimin feels his legs trembling. He stutters, "I-I'm okay. I just didn't sleep much yesterday, rough night and all. The rain didn't let me sleep." 

Yoongi nods.

"Oh! I brought you something!" He gasps, turning around to look through his bag. Jimin stands awkwardly, waiting for whatever Yoongi brought him. He feels kind of pathetic. He didn't bring anything for the older boy. Well, he has something at the shelter that he had been working on but he doubts Yoongi will like it.

Suddenly, Yoongi pulls out a small teddy bear with a red ribbon around its neck. Jimin gasps and he starts to shake his head.

"Yoongi, no. I won't accept it! No!" Jimin crosses his arms and looks away.

"Aww, beautiful, come on! I bought it for you!" Jimin turns his head slowly towards Yoongi. He shyly stares at the toy and then at Yoongi. "Seriously, I saw it and thought of you."

"But I don't have anything for you." Jimin pouts. "I mean, well, I started a present but it's so ugly and–"

"I don't need anything in return, love. Your company is enough for me." Yoongi hands the teddy to Jimin, his other hand holding onto Jimin's hand.

When Jimin looked up he felt as if the whole world stopped. Yoongi licked his lips and Jimin followed. Jimin thinks Yoongi was who leaned in first, but maybe it was himself. Their noses bumped into each other and suddenly Yoongi's breath was hitting his lips.

Jimin was who connected their lips, his arms wrapped around Yoongi's neck nervously. Yoongi's hands went to his waist. It might sound cliche (because it is) but Jimin felt sparks inside his stomach. He had never felt so happy.

Yoongi's tongue asked for entrance and Jimin was quick to grant it to him. It was slow and lovely, not rushed and messy. Jimin felt nervous at first, but Yoongi made him feel at ease, so he just followed calmly.

Yoongi pulled away and smiled at Jimin. Jimin returned the smile shyly. Yoongi's hands were on his waist, thumbs roaming softly over his sweater.

"Jimin...." Yoongi was about to say something but suddenly, the hyung frowned. "What is this?" His thumb then touched his poky hip bone. Jimin gasped and moved a step back. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, hyung." Jimin faked a smile and took Yoongi's hands. "Thank you so much for the gift and- everything."

"I'm just worried–"

"Don't be." Jimin pinched his cheek. Yoongi smiled and leaned forward once more to steal another kiss from the younger boy. Jimin didn't mind at all.

"Go on a date with me. Please." 

"Okay."

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Jimin was going out on a date with Yoongi. He told Baekhyun all about it. He earned a hug and a good night sleep with him, which made him feel safe.

The next day, Baekhyun helped him choose what to wear. Yoongi didn't really tell him where they were heading to but Jimin figured out it might be casual.

The day was warm today but Jimin felt cold. So, so cold. What's new? He's always cold. He ended up with overalls that reached his ankles, inside he was wearing a white long sleeved shirt so Yoongi (or anyone) wouldn't see the hairs that grow on his arms, also known as Lanugo.

"I'll be right back, Chims." Baekhyun winked and ran downstairs.

On his feet he had long socks that are obviously covered by the overalls pants, plus some black sneakers. He took a look of himself in the mirror and his smile fell. Why did he feel so good about himself just seconds ago? His lip started trembling and before he knew it he kicked the mirror, causing it to fall but luckily not break. Jimin started sobbing loudly and kind of yelling.

"Hey what happened?!" Jihun ran in. "Jimin are you okay?" He quickly kneeled down and took a hold of the younger boy's shoulders. "Nadia noona! Baekhyun!" Jihun called for the others.

Suddenly Baekhyun ran in and immediately took Jimin in his arms, rocking him slowly. "You're okay, you're okay." He whispered into his ear.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

"So you had another episode." Namjoon hyung says like a statement. Jimin keeps looking at the floor and nods. "Jimin, Nadia said you were getting better, and I thought so too. I saw your progress but now I see you here and you look far from okay."

Jimin keeps quiet, still staring at the floor. "Do you have anything to say?" Namjoon asks carefully. Jimin's eyes never move. He hugs the teddy bear closer to him, though. "Who gave you that teddy?" No answer. "Baekhyun tells me you have a date."

Jimin nods at that, a small smile appearing on his face. Namjoon moves a bit closer. He smiles at the skinny boy in front of him.

"Tell me about him."

"Yoongi." Is the first thing Jimin says. "His name is Yoongi and he's the most wonderful boy. He likes me for me. He bought me this." Jimin proudly shows it off. "He holds me, takes me out to eat. I eat for him. He's my angel."

"Then don't let those voices in your head take him away."

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

That night Jimin waits for Yoongi at the park, like always. It's...so cold. Jimin had to bring a huge sweater as well because he feels as if he's about to pass out from being cold. This was a bad idea. It's way too cold, Yoongi will know—

"Sweetheart!" Jimin's head snaps up. Everything is forgotten and Jimin quickly runs over to Yoongi, hugging him around the neck. Yoongi leaned down to kiss him quickly and place their foreheads together. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you?"

"I'm doing alright." Yoongi tapped Jimin's nose and then took his hand."Ready to go? The night awaits." 

The date was even better than Jimin had dreamed about. Yoongi was a proper gentleman and he didn't even criticise Jimin when he ordered a salad. "Twenty..." Jimin mumbled to himself and Yoongi started chuckling. Jimin looked up and  
blushed when he caught Yoongi's eyes on him.

"What are you counting, silly?" His longer fingers wrapped around Jimin's small ones. He blushed even more and shook his head.

_Calories._

"It's a song I remembered out of nowhere. Sorry, I'm weird." Jimin shrugged and started giggling.

"Nah, you're perfect to me." Yoongi gave him the softest and most genuine smile Jimin had ever seen. He smiled back the same. He couldn't help but wonder if Yoongi would be the one. If Yoongi is the one.

He hopes he is.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

But of course all good things must come to an end, and that day is today, because Baekhyun is being taken by ambulance to the hospital.

He was found on the floor in the kitchen. He wouldn't wake up and Nadia had to call their special number for emergencies. Jimin held his hand as he was being taken into the car. Baekhyun looked so vulnerable and... tired. He didn't look alive anymore and that really scared him. He was fine a few minutes ago. 

Before the nurses could close the ambulance door's, Jimin kissed Baekhyun's hand and forehead, whispering for him to get better, and then he just watched the white with red car drive away.

Seokjin took a hold of his shoulder, not saying a word.

Jimin decided to wait for Baekhyun. So he sat in the bench outside the house, smile on his face, waiting for Baekhyun to get home. Jimin stayed on that bench even when it was already 7:00 pm. Jimin sat on that bench, not caring if he was breaking the rule of "everyone must sit in the dining table". He waited.

"Jimin-ah, are you staying here?" Minseok asked. Jimin nodded, hands wrapped around himself. "I brought you something." Minseok takes out a blanket and a little bag that has a bread in it plus some other stuff. "I promise it's under 200 calories."

"Thank you." Jimin took the blanket and wrapped it around himself.

Minseok decided to stay but when the clock hit 9:00 pm he said good night. Jimin started feeling sleep so he laid down on the bench, blanket over him to keep him warm. He basically slept with one eye open. Every car that passed by would wake him up.

A sirene woke him completely up suddenly. He jumped and threw the blanket off and ran to the front yard, but his smile fell when he only saw a police car driving by. He sighed and went back to sitting on the bench. His eyes had to focus on the light because apparently it was already 8:00 am.

Baekhyun didn't come.

Nadia had walked out and told him to go inside but Jimin ignored her. Seokjin was called to talk to him, and they did. Seokjin would be the one to be taking him food, and Jimin anxiously ate less than the half of the food he was given. 

He would only stand up to go to the bathroom that was downstairs.

He continued like this for three days until Dr. Namjoon arrived and they were all called to the living room for a chat. Seokjin and Namjoon sat together, staring at all of the teenagers sitting in front of them.

"We have something to tell you all. And I'm afraid they are bad news." Everyone stared at Namjoon, eyes wide, waiting for what he was about  
to say. "I'm afraid Baekhyun won't be coming back."

The girl's choked up, and the boys just stayed quiet. Jimin was confused. Why were they all so sad? 

"When can we go visit him?"

Jimin asked immediately. Hopefully they can visit today. He has some pokemon cards he needs to show him. Baekhyun would be so jealous when he notices the pokemon trainers he got.

"I'm... afraid we won't be able to visit." Namjoon looked down. Jimin's head turned to the side. "He's gone, Jimin."

The whole world stopped.

_"Promise we'll go to Greece together, hyung!"_

__

__

"I, Byun Baekhyun, promise to go to Greece with my best friend in the entire world, Park Jimin!"

"I'm never leaving this house unless you leave with me, Chim Chim."

"I'm never leaving either unless I'm leaving with you, Baek hyung."

"Hyung are you okay?"

"Just tired from all this dishes... Once we leave we are immediately buying those Shinee tickets, okay?"

_Jimin giggled,"Okay."_

There was simply no way that Baekhyun was gone. Jimin could hear his name being called, but he only stood up and walked up stairs. He sat down on bed and then let himself fall. His head turns to what used to be Baekhyun's bed. He quickly stands up and makes his way over to it.

 

Jimin pulls out Baekhyun's special box from underneath his bed. "If one day I don't come back, take out the brown box from under my bed, yes?"Jimin opened it.

 

He found his and Baek's polaroid pictures. He found Baek's calorie journal. He found measuring tape. What couldn't he find? Everything was in there. Jimin took out a white envelope and opened it up.

_Dear Jimin,_

_If you're reading this it's because I never came back. I don't want to guess the reason why but I think we both know why, right?_

_Anyway, listen. Jimin, you are my bestest friend in the whole wide world. I hope you are able to find actual life and I hope you become the professional dancer you have ways wanted to be._

_You're strong, you're beautiful, you're unique, you're kind, you're okay. Jimin, remember. You are okay._

_This might sound hypocrite of me to say but please don't end up like me. I beg you please. I want to be able to see you grow up from where I am now._

_Recently you told me you found this boy, Yoongi He's good for you, I can see that. You're glowing. I wish I had been able to give that boy the "you hurt him, i hurt you" talk, but i think watching you grow up is better._

_I won't apologise for leaving, but I will apologise for how I left, because I can bet you it was horrible to see. Even though we won't be together anymore, face to face, just know I'm here for you, Jimin._

_All the love,  
your best friend, Byun Baekhyun._

Jimin ignored the tears running down his face. He felt arms hugging him. Seokjin calmed him down as he calmly cried. He cried, and cried, and cried. Jin never left or moved once.

 

Jimin really appreciated it.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

"You have to eat."

Jimin continued to stare outside the window. His cheekbones touching the cold glass as he just stared down at the cars driving by because maybe, just maybe Baekhyun will appear after two weeks from being gone.

"Jimin I'm talking to you." Namjoon continued. Jimin didn't move once or flinched to look at him. "You're not eating for the same reason anymore. You're depressed. Jimin—" Namjoon was about to continue but decided against it and just sighed. "I'll just leave this here." Namjoon whispered.

The moment the hyung walked out Jimin stood up and took a look at the food. He ignored it and walked to the staircase, to listen to anything he has missed.

He's able to catch a bit from what Seokjin and Namjoon are saying. "He's literally a hair away from getting tubed." Namjoon whispers to Seokjin. But Jimin listens.

"How much has he lost?"

"Ten pounds."

Seokjin groans and looks down. Jimin decided to not continue listening so he walked back to his room and decided on eating the bread. He didn't want to get tubed again.

Jimin ends up eating only twice a week. He's always sleeping on Baekhyun's bed, sometimes he won't move throughout the whole day.

It's been over a month and Jimin has to dress up for a field trip they're having. They end up going to some art museum and he is honestly uninterested. He wants to sleep. Jimin doesn't even have enough strength to walk.

When he hears that it's almost time to go, he sighs and decides to use the bathroom.

"I have to use the bathroom."

Jimin told Seokjin. The older one told him to go and Jimin thanked him. He walked over to the public bathrooms and did what he had to do.

He missed Yoongi, but he doesn't think there's a chance of him meeting with the older one again. Jimin isn't allowed out of the house. His weight is lower than before and he has zero points.

After using the bathroom, Jimin washes his hands, afterwards looking up and just staring stw himself in the mirror. He looks terrible. His eyes are baggy and his hair seems like a mess under his hoodie. Though he still has to lose some baby fat from his face. His cheeks are huge.

_"Jiminie?"_

Jimin feels like the whole world completely stops. He slowly turns around. There he is, staring with eyes that are full of confusion and hurt. Jimin doesn't say anything; Just waits for Yoongi to say something, anything.

"Where have you been?" A smile breaks out on Yoongi's face and he walks over, taking Jimin's smaller hand. "You haven't been coming to the store recently and since you don't have a phone I can't communicate with you."

"I'm sorry."

"What are you doing this afternoon? Are you free?" Yoongi asks with excitement, basically jumping on his feet. "We could go out to eat–"

"No!" Yoongi's smile vanishes. "Listen, it's not that I don't want to," Well... He wants to go out with him but he doesn't want to eat. On the other hand, he can't. "I'm grounded."

"So what are you doing here?"

"I came with the um, group–"

"From school?" Yoongi's head turns in confusion. "Like on a school trip?" He asks while placing a bit of hair behind Jimin's ear.

"Not exactly..." He mumbles but Yoongi asks "What? Sorry, didn't catch it." And Jimin just shakes his head and pulls Yoongi in for a hug.

"Jimin, I don't know if it's just me but you look ... way thinner." At that Jimin pulls away and sends him a small smile with a head shake, mumbling "It's just you silly." But Yoongi looks closely and comments, "No, seriously. I'm being dead serious." 

"Jimin!" Saved by the bell. "Jimin we're leaving!" 

Jimin quickly smiles and hugs Yoongi goodbye. "I have to go now. Bye." But before he can leave, Yoongi takes his hand and pulls him back the closest he can. Their faces are centimetres away.

"When can I see you again?" It's been almost a month." His minty breath hits Jimin's lips. Jimin doesn't know what to answer because the only way they can see each other again is if Jimin gains some weight and there is no way he's doing that right now.

"I-I don't know, hyung. It's complicated."

"Why?"

"I can't tell you." Jimin quickly answers. "I need to go, I'll see you soon enough." He tries to leave once more but Yoongi pulls him back again, cornering him around the sink.

"Why? Why can't you tell me?" His eyes stare deep into his own. Jimin can feel his legs becoming wobbly. "I miss you." Yoongi finally says, eyes falling on Jimin's lips.

"I miss you too, hyung." Jimin whispers, arms around his neck now, playing with Yoongi's hair that falls right on his neck.

Yoongi leans forward until their lips meet. Sadly, they're only able to share one kiss because Jimin's name is being called again.

"Park Jimin!"

Jimin's eyes open up and he is quick to push Yoongi away. "I have to go." He quickly runs out of the bathroom, and what he hates the most isn't that he knows he might never see Yoongi again, it bothers him more knowing that Yoongi is following.

So Yoongi sees him get on the minibus. So Yoongi sees him sitting between other sick looking kids. So Yoongi reads what the minibus says: "Eating Disorder Transport". So Yoongi now knows, and honestly, Jimin wants the world to swallow him up.

He feels as if he's about to throw up, but that's not the worst part. He has no one to tell. Baekhyun isn't here anymore. He looks down, feeling the need to cry because he just misses him so much. He wants his best friend back. How could he let Baekhyun go? How was he so stupid?

When they reach the shelter, he is quick. He runs to the bathroom upstairs and he can hear the running footsteps behind him. Nadia, Dr. Joon and Dr. Jin. Jimin is crying when he opens up the door to the bathroom and runs to the toilet, but strong arms pull him back.

"Wait! No! Let me go!" He kicks and hits but Namjoon won't let him go. "I just want him back!"

"Jimin, calm down." Jin kneels down in front of him. "Breathe. Throwing up won't ever bring back. Snap out of it." Jimin nods furiously, tears streaming down his face. This just made him remember how he has lied to Baekhyun's face for so long, his bestest friend in the world, telling him he doesn't throw up. What a lier he is. He should be dead, not Baekhyun.

When he looks back he sees everyone staring back at him. They must think he's a freak. Well, who isn't a freak in this stupid house anyway? Jimin closes his eyes and lets himself drift away.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

"I can't seem to stop." He whispers. "I... 500 sit ups in less than an hour. I do them the fastest I can. I also run up and down the stairs."

"You have to stop unless you want to end up like me, Chim."

"I know that, Baek! But I can't stop!"

"Of course. I couldn't either." Baekhyun tells him. "But you— LET ME IN GOD DAMN IT!"

That wakes him up. Yelling. His movements are slow, eyes still sleepy. Jimin throws off his blanket and makes his way out of the room and down the stairs. He stops on the turn of the staircase. Shock spreads around his face.

"Let me in! I just want to–" He looks up and a smile spreads over his face. "Jimin! Tell them to let me in!" Yoongi begs, but Jimin can't. It's not him, it's them: Nadia and the nurses. They aren't allowed to let anyone in unless it's at the clinic during visiting hours.

"I can't, hyung." He tells him. He tries to continue but Nadie pushed Yoongi outside and apologized to him, telling him she's just following the rules.

Jimin runs to his room to stare out the window. He opens up the curtains and smiles when he sees Yoongi standing in front of the lawn. Jimin's small hand raises up in the air and he waves shyly.

Yoongi smiles back and waves as well. Jimin places his cheek on his hand and sighs lovingly. He then kisses the palm of his hand and blows the kiss at Yoongi.

Yoongi does a dramatic jump and acts as if he caught the kiss and places it right on his heart. He dramatically falls on the floor, causing Jimin to burst into a fit of giggles.

I need to get better to see him again. He thinks. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

If by getting better you mean getting fatter and gaining weight then yeah, sure. Go ahead. Be my guest.

Jimin then frowns and closes the curtains quickly.

He shakes his head and opens them up again, waving goodbye to Yoongi and crossing his thumb with index finger, kissing it. After Yoongi does it as well, he closes the curtains once more and lays down on his bed, quickly doing 500 sit ups.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Yoongi takes it upon himself to help Jimin get better. Everyday after class and work he sits down in the front lawn of the shelter house. He watches Jimin walk through the window and jump in surprise whenever he notices Yoongi is there.  
This is how their relationship grows. Jimin learns that Yoongi likes him for _him_ , and as the days continued, the two boys had mini whiteboard in which they would write each other messages.

 _"I feel like that American singer that writes on boards."_ Jimin had written down, making Yoongi chuckle.

 _"Taylor Swift you mean?"_ Yoongi had answered. Jimin nodded his, sending him a thumbs up. Yoongj then erased the board and wrote down something else. _"I miss you."_

_"I miss you too."_

_"Please get better."_ Yoongi pouted and drew a sad face. Jimin sighed, shrugging at him. _"Please? For me?"_

Jimin stayed quiet, reading the message again. He then looked down and wrote down, _"For you anything, hyung."_

A week later, Jimin was sitting at the window, waiting for Yoongi to arrive, and when he did, he was holding a big ass paper with the help of other two boys.Jimin recognised one, Taehyung. The other one he has no idea who he is. Anyway, the three boys helped holding up the paper.

Jimin gasped.

_"Jimin, I love you. Will you be my boyfriend?"_

Jimin had opened the window and yelled out a long "Yes!! I love you too, hyung!"

It was only a month later that Jimin was let out of the house completely. He ran to Yoongi, who was already waiting for him. Jimin jumped on Yoongi's arms, kissing him afterwards.

How did he do it? Get out? Well, he found his weights and put them inside his trousers. He drank a lot of water and ate just enough. He was able to "gain" the weight lost, and he also learned how to act as if he was better. So, the doctors let him out completely.

Jimin then hugged his own family. Yoongi had just rented a house close to Uni so he invited Jimin to move in with him.

Life in Yoongi's house was so much fun. Jimin was starting college until next year so for now he worked at a flower shop. He discussed with his family and Yoongi about joining dance but nobody agreed. Jimin had to continue getting better and he would be allowed to do sports until being 99% better, because let's be honest, there is no 100%.

They would have breakfast together, walk to work / Uni together since the flower shop was right in front of Yoongi's Uni.

Though one day as Jimin waved goodbye to Yoongi, he didn't go to work and instead headed to a shopping center to buy a scale. Yoongi had gotten rid of the one they had because he was scared Jimin would continue to weigh himself. He was right, of course.

But Jimin _needs_ a scale. He must weigh himself every single morning and night. That's his routine and nobody can change that.

He ended up buying the cheapest one, which he hid inside his suitcase that was under the bed. Inside the suitcase was also Baekhyun's box so Jimin told Yoongi to please never open the suitcase because it's personal. The first thing Jimin did when he got home was text Yoongi he got sick and that's why he left work early. Then, he stood in the scale and wrote down the date and his current weight. He stood in the scale again, then got off, then on again, then off. He did this at least five times to make sure the scale was working. He gained three pounds.

That wasn't so bad? He's getting better for Yoongi after all.

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Few weeks later Jimin finally met Taehyung and Jeongguk.

They were the nicest ever. Jimin learned they have been dating for quite a long time, and he wishes Yoongi and himself end up like that.

Jeongguk and Taehyung had visited to give Yoongi some textbook, but then they stayed and they all drank coffee together. Jimin absolutely adored the two boys.

There was also a day that Hoseok hyung came for a visit. Jimin was so excited. He told Hobi about Baekhyun though, and they both had started crying together. Jimin really missed Hobi hyung.

Everything was going so well, Jimin couldn't believe it! but suddenly one day Jeongguk had gotten the idea to have a film night, so Taehyung and he brought a bunch of food. Cake, brownies, ice cream, popcorn, pizza... and Jimin ate, and ate, and ate.

He hates when this happens. He finally is able to reach the weight he likes and is able to get his body to the shape and form he wants. Suddenly, out of fucking nowhere, someone gives him food and it reminds him of how good eating feels and so he eats, and eats, and eats.

Jimin takes another slice of cake, earning a smile from Jeongguk. Jimin eats it, hates it, but eats it. Actually, no he doesn't. He loves it. He despises it. He _adores_ it.

It's when he's done that he notices what he has done. His hand flies to his belly, he can feel it growing. Tears are trying to set themselves free but he doesn't let them.

"I have to use the bathroom." Jimin mumbles and runs away. Yoongi is barely able to answer him.

Jimin covers his mouth, tears now free. He hiccups as he enters the bathroom and slams the door behind him. He stands in front of the mirror and lifts his shirt until his chest. There it is, staring at him, his big belly and fat thighs. He hates it so much. How dare he eat all of that food? How dare them bring all of that food?

The boy opens the mirror, revealing behind it his toothbrush. He shouldn't, and it's really a struggle for him because throwing up is just so disgusting but it is necessary. Jimin takes the toothbrush, tears running down his face as he kneels down in front of the toilet sit and opens it up. Without thinking twice, he shoved the toothbrush until the back of his throat. Nothing was working so he continued pushing it back until he started to gag. He doesn't get it, why did it work before? He has recently being doing the flush and purge tactic and now it isn't working for fucks sake. More tears ran down his throat but nothing was working. He gagged a few times and moved the brush because maybe, just maybe that would cause a reaction.

Nothing.

So Jimin stood up and opened the drawer, taking out a pack of laxative pills and drinking four immediately. He then drank the whole water bottle he had brought with him and returned to kneeling down in front of the toilet. _Why did you drink the laxatives if you were going to try to throw up afterwards anyway?_ He ignores the voices in his head and continues rubbing the brush until the back of his throat, gagging now and then until–

"Jimin?! What the hell are you doing in there?!" He hears Yoongi knocking on the door. Jimin gags. "Jimin! For fucks sake open the fuck up!" Jimin continues and suddenly Yoongi is in. Yoongi lets the key fall to the floor and runs to Jimin, taking from him the brush and throwing it somewhere around the room.

"Noo!"

Jimin's yell is long and loud. Very loud. Jimin's scream was even louder than the storm outside; so loud that Jeongguk and Taehyung ran up stairs. Taehyung covered Jeongguk's eyes and stared with sad ones at the boy on the floor.

"Shhh, you're okay. You're okay." Yoongi whispered into his ear, rubbing small circles on his back. "You're okay."

"No! I'm not!" Jimin cries loudly into Yoongi's shirt, trying to push him away. "The brush won't work, hyung, it won't fucking work!" He continues. "It's inside me, it's all inside me I– I can't get it out! It won't let me– why won't it let me!" Yoongi closes his eyes and kisses Jimin on the head, deciding it's better to not answer him. He thought Jimin was better. Everyone did. How could he not notice? The strange part is, Yoongi didn't even know Jimin purged. "It's all your fault!" Jimin's punches on Yoongi's chest become weaker and weaker. "It's all your... all... your f-fault... hyung..." and suddenly Jimin was asleep on his hyung's arms.

Yoongi turns to look at the other two. "Could you guys maybe..." Taehyung nods before he can even finish and takes Jeon's hand. Soon enough they leave the house. Yoongi carries Jimin to bed, laying him down carefully and pulling the covers over him. He kneels down beside him on bed, hand pushing away the bangs on his face. Yoongi leans forward and kisses his forehead, immediately silently crying. "W-Why, Jiminie?" He whispers and hiccups, kissing him again. "Why. Just why? Why do you do this to yourself? I can't fucking lose you." Yoongi stands up and makes his way to the phone. He calls Nadia. It takes about four rings for her to answer. I mean, it is late at night.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi- Um," Yoongi tries to keep his voice steady. He takes a deep breath and bites on his knuckles. "J-Jiminie- fuck- he's not okay he's-"

_"Yoongi, you're going to have to try to stay calm for me, yeah?" Yoongi nods even though she can't see him. "Now, tell me, what's wrong?"_

"He shoved a toothbrush inside his mouth." Yoongi whispers, turning around to check on the boy who is still sound asleep. "I didn't even know he purged for fucks sake!"

_"I'll make an appointment with-"_

"Just please tell me what to do, what must I do? I want to help him! _Me!_ "

Yoongi remembers when he had finally gotten the courage to ask Jimin how he go to where he was.

_"My mum has never been the one to know how to control psychological problems. She doesn't get anything that's outside her thinking zone. She keeps what she believes and that's it."_

_Jimin told Yoongi, who only nodded and let him continue. Jimin needed someone who could listen and not make him feel worse of himself. Yoongi felt as if the doctors might make him feel worse so maybe himself could help out.  
"People would tell her things are psychological but she wouldn't listen and say I traumatized myself; that I traumatized myself to thinking I'm fat, and that I would make myself depressed." Jimin rolled his eyes. "Nobody ever deeply asked themselves why it was that I was always so... serious, or sad looking. Nobody ever thought hey he might be depressed! lets find some help! Not even when I was taken to a therapist and he told me I was in the verge of depression. What does that even mean?!"_

"Calm down." Nadia sighs on the other line. "I'll contact Dr. Kim, okay? Namjoon will know what to do."

"Thanks."

.☆。• *₊°。 ✮°。

Yoongi's arms are opened on the counter, leaning forward, head between them. He sighs a few times, eyes closed and waiting for his coffee to be ready.

"Morning..."

Yoongi looks up quickly and turns to look at his boyfriend. He doesn't say anything, just stares at Jimin with mouth hanging a bit open.

"Hey..." He finally breathes out.

"Sooo... What's for–"

"We're leaving at ten to see Namjoon." Yoongi cuts him off. Jimin opens his mouth, "I don't wanna hear it. We're going. There's toast for breakfast. I won't take no for that either."

"Doctor ? But... I feel fine, hyung." Jimin whispers.

Yoongi turns around slowly. "What. Did you. Just. Say?" The boy takes a few steps forward. "You didn't find your boyfriend, who you love with all your fucking being, shoving a goddam toothbrush inside his mouth!"  
Jimin gulps, looking down. "You didn't have to carry your boyfriend to bed because he was just so tired for not eating!" Yoongi has tears now on the corner of his eyes. "Jimin why? Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped!"

"There was nothing you could do, hyung." Jimin whispers looking down. "I'm so sorry." Jimin whimpers.

"Don't apologise." Yoongi moves closer and hugs him from behind. "Baby, there's a reason why I'm here. I love you, I'm here to take care of you. I'm here for you."

"Yoongi, I'm such a trouble to you. We shouldn't– You shouldn't have to deal with me. Maybe we shouldn't be–"

"Together? Don't say bullshit, Jimin. You're thinking with your ass right now because you don't want to go to the doctor." Yoongi rolls his eyes, though his hands are shaking. "But if you want to leave, then I'll drop you off at the shelter."

"I don't."

"Then we're leaving in ten. Eat your breakfast." Yoongi ends the conversation by placing a plate in front of Jimin. "Every bite."

"Every... single... one? Can't I just leave—"

"No." Yoongi cuts in. "Eat it all. I promise you won't die because of poison. You know I can cook." Jimin giggles a bit but then his smile falls. He takes the toast with cheese and ham and moves it closer to his mouth, smelling it first. As he is about to bite it he quickly puts it back on the plate.

"I can't." He covers his face. "Gosh I wish Baekhyun was here, he would understand..."

"But he's not and I am. Baby, I don't want you to end like him. He said so himself. He wants to see you get better. I bet he's smiling right now watching how hard you're trying."

"You think?"

"Of course!" Yoongi smiled and kissed his cheek.

"O-Okay," Jimin took a bite from his toast. It was good, really good. Fuck, so good.

Jimin is able to finish everything. He then took a shower, which consisted of Yoongi sitting on the closed toilet sit to make sure Jimin didn't do anything stupid. Trust at this moment was completely out of the picture. When Jimin was done he had to change with the bathroom door open and Yoongi sat on his bed, holding Jimin's sweater. Once Jimin was ready, they just smiled at each other and held hands to the car. Jimin stared outside the window, watching himself on the reflection. A sudden smile spread on his face.

He's gonna get better.

He then turned to look at Yoongi. "Thank you. I love you so much." Yoongi took his hand and kissed it.

"I love you too, sweets." Yoongi smiled once more and so did Jimin. Jimin's hand wrapped around his skinny arm and that's when he noticed his index finger and thumb weren't able to wrap around it.

"It's time to get better."

_Fin._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked it.
> 
> I know some might think this wasn't as much YoonMin but I really needed to get everything I felt out and this was just the perfect way. I liked writing it, I enjoyed it so I hope you all enjoyed it as well.
> 
> tumblr: bichcheoleom
> 
> :) x
> 
> UPDATE [july 30]: hi , i've been getting hate because this fic is getting quite triggering and i'm so sorry about that but this was my way of letting everything out. my apologies to everyone who has disliked it , i promise i didn't mean for it to become anything wrong. x


End file.
